The Urge ...

Its an urge , to be the BEST. The better than anyone else ever, not for you, neither for me, but for all. An urge not to be just another, a desire to be perfect , a knit to be strong, and a zeal to excel. A zenith looked upon, a shinning titan, the most luminous Deepak, and the majestic stride towards being the best in the place where experts galore, and humane exist. To live the life as supposed to be, a healthy, ever smiling, and acronym of what most would refer to be THE Life to live. Not the one to show anyone , but the one which radiates. The light is possibly the lightest thing in the world, an invisible refraction which makes everything else visible. I urge to be the light, and as my name would bring me an inch closer towards becoming the One, the hurdles are strong. A silent sea does not make a sound sailor, a smooth path does not make a perfect climber, and a career ridden without failures wont bring along learnings. Career like life, like relationships is a mysterious combination of ifs and buts , and the timing of each of them. If she loves me now, if i lose the job now, if she goes away , if the company fires me ... the life is as easy as you can think , and as complex as you can make it to be. Have you ever tried to play with strings, more you play , more you want to play ,and a small mistake integrates over the length. Let say you use earphones and have to hurridly keep it back in a bag or wallet or purse, and next time the jigsaw it is. Same is with life, and i urge to keep it simple.

The urge exists deep in me, in each breath i take, and in each form i play to excel, to be recognised, and above all to be looked upon. Dont let this urge to start and end with me, I hope you get my urge to be the best , and then look back in you and find the answer to what you urge for.

The Swooshing Sound

wheeeeeeew ... the life as it passes slowly, each second , just as i type and you read. The slow second , slower the minute but faster the time. I can count 10 seconds and by the time i think i did it successfully, another one escapes through. Just like an atom to the molecular existence, the second is second to none, and the minute is no minute a creature. Time heals, it also injures. Not only is this time responsible for smiling faces, it is also the one to be blamed for broken smiles, shattered hearts, lost hopes and faint faith. Time is always cursed for being bad, each one of us, including those reading this, dont have much of it, yet its same. For a good job interview or for a coffee with a friend , we have "lots of time", but when we are with our friends, the time is less. We sit for hours together, as if thing of yesterday, and when leaving with only 1 thing , times up , or time to sleep, or time to go.

Am i wrong to compare time to fate, only we dont have a clock for fate, but fate is not with us when time is not right. Or wait for correct time to hit, and at that time fate will be with you. Is it the same component disguised in two different forms, or are they two different monsters altogether. Time is right but faith not with you, or faith... err. fate (last one also read as fate) . It is a complex situation and more we think the worst it gets. It is possibly not in right spirit to consider either time or fate as curplrits. It is in best health to go and shake hands with self proclaimed enemies, sit down and decide on when will it be on your side. Listen to vibes, get a sixth sense, experiment, and try your best friend Luck.

If i consider myself, i really became so insane and crazy that it really did not matter to me what is time, or fate or luck tries to do. I go and try to do the best i can, keeping myself as a priority, my amusement as motivation, and self satisfaction as aim. These three things in place, rest of it comes down as if type casted. The times are bad , not for one , but for many , but not all sit back and curse it. People work, and try to do things, vocational, inspirational and motivational. Sometimes, the break helps a person to re-discover himself, few things he forgot working for last 5 years day in out , what he is capable of. What he can do , and more importantly what he must. A fresher in industry at age of 21 if remains so at age of 28, then a break is needed. That helps a person to know he has graduated to next step, and even without realising how important or useful he has become, he should not mentor his loved ones. Spend more time with family, enjoy life to full, and above all , defeat time in a race against time. Always thanks time for being on your side, and tell time you got ample of it. Shake hands with clock, wrestle with fate, keep faith intact and believe in good. What all happens , happens for good.

Time is a T junction followed by an ego I and Me .... A joint that is disasterous , but when rearranged can become a miTe (might) a force to rekon. The tick tock sound of second is not as heart breaking as swooshing sound of time, but more or less is still the same. Indentify and then , strike when ready. Make friends with all , and be happy for a long long time.

Dont Mind Its 13

its been a long , longer time when i was introduced to this deadly combo of 13th the friday, its like its a belief that will not affect you until you believe in it. But for some reason , this 13 has stuck to me as my shadow. Well shadow leaves me at dark hour but this does not. I does not really believe in it, but each thing happens on this date, at this time, at this hour.

I dont have a ticket , i forgot to show pass, i over ran an ant, slept an hour late, didnt wake up, forgot to polish shoes, code does not work , friends didnt call , leg broke, back pain came back , suffered a stroke after 8 months, not got a call , missed the one important, lost another , didnt find courage to hold losing one, didnt have strength to explain i was not wrong in a right junction, but let go its 13th. I used to be hyster about the number, so pathetic and miserable that it rendered me helpless, and more helpless than i ever can be. The power vested in few numbers can just be majestic, may be plunderous, but disasterous. Those who believe, respect it, those who do not, regret it.

Me , forget it. Its more of a companion now. I love his company, but dont mess with it. you got 30 other days to play around, dont atleast mess with me on 13th , not because i can stand it, but because i will be able to forgive you for what you did on 13th, cause i know its not you but 13th who plays with me. Play around till 13th is your friend, i have still not made complete friends with the monster but i am pretty sure i will do it sooner than expected. And trust me , winner i will be ... as now .. always forever

Psycho Prepare

Enough of a gemini life, and the most important of it is being water. Live life like water, when you blend in vessel as it is , mix with all in each proportion and when fire rises high , drowse it down. Being gemini says being water, multi faced. This takes no less than a psycho to be smiling in worst of times, wading off each debris thrown at character with the broadest weapon , smile. How satisfying is it when someone tries over and again to get you down, and you smile back. There is no harm in being a psycho, if thinking of it makes you smile. How well can you tame down a worst situation tells about your character. Let me guess my age, all a kid of 26. My qualification , BTECH. Left home a long time back in search of job , leading a nomadic life. As lived in clans in Mysore, stone shelter in Bangalore , all famous Pune and cities to name wont end. I lived alone, with weekly changing roomates, to permanent friends. I have faced most frightening heart break, and broken bones lonely, cooked myself, stayed to me, and found ways to tell Gods that its not you who care, I care for myself.

Again the times have come , again i am in same mode. Again i went to temple to tell him that lets prepare for another battle , battle of titans. If its you who have called me in here, and if its you who are in alien land as me, we will go in for duel. I will not let go to India, because there i know you hold advantage. Lets play here in US of A for sometime. I know you very well. You have a thousand responsibilites, and much more busy than i am. and that is why I have more time than you, but deep in my heart i know you care. If it was all for me to worship you, i possibly will not, not because you gave so much, not because you didnt take that much, but because i dont consider you God. It s written in plain white blog , you are no longer a God , but a friend. You exist all over, i am you and if that is true, tell me if I am right.

I am mature enough to decide whats right and whats not, tell me if I pursue my dreams myself or submit to the worldly desires. The world is not that Java , PHP , or .NET , neither a set of websites. It is just a collection of years that add to the age as we grow more stupid, more egiostic and worst, bigger.

The age then tells us we are more mature than people younger than what we are, and end up being much bigger fools than our age. We talk to like minded, and communicate as what we think is correct, not sure. Its always well said, Free Advise is harmless, until you act on it. I know so many people who would advise the entire world what to do and what not to, but they themselves will never follow it up. Many of the problems they see in each other person's life is exactly the problem they suffer from. Raising a finger leaves 4 on your side, so that will make me more psycho to say so.

A psycho now is preparing for another battle with the alien world, with the God , with the job, and above all with himself. To tell himself that he is not better than what he thinks himself of , and he should bear a little more. A little more of time is what is needed, but is this not the thing that never is. A little more time , is so much like Tomorrow , never comes. We have the moment now, the money , advise, suggestions and useless hatred will pour in as always and come with time, which never will come in itself.

DONT WAIT to chase your dreams, walk towards them, take a bigger step, a bit more faster, run and run hard to get it deep down in you till you make your dream a part of you, and dream again. Listen to all but do of heart, dont think what the world will say, who damn cares. No one says to you when not good, so let them be shut when you go in for a chance. Maximum is what will be not a successful attempt , again , bear. Stand up, and run again. Be alike, when anvil bear, when hammer strike. Prepare as a psycho, behave as a dumb , stay low and win as a winner.